League: Croydon RFC vs Old Suttonians

MATCH REPORT: CROYDON vs OLD SUTTONIANS 9th Feb

With the season in full swing, three teams had separated themselves at the top pf the table and although Croydon were coming off the back of a win, Sutton represented a step up in class and a must win fixture if the Poppies still had aspirations of winning the league.

Croydon dominated the opening minutes kicking the ball (and the oppo) down the pitch, leaving a trail of bodies in their wake. With Shrimpton commanding the number 9 position, an early penalty gave Bond the chance to put some points on the board and he sailed the ball through the posts. 

As the momentum swung away from the Poppies, Sutton showed their ability to offload out of the tackle, scoring two tries off consecutive plays. Croydon reacted and got behind the powerful running of "Big Bosh Man" Simons and "Bosh Baby" Jeffrey to allow Andrew "Bosh Spice" Lyell to charge over from five metres and reduce the deficit to just two points at the half.

The conditions took their toll in the second half and the muddy ball kept slipping out of Croydon’s possession. A dogged defensive effort was not enough and another try stretched the lead for the visitors. The Poppies responded again and with the returning  JC attacking with all the vigour of Bastille day and your humble narrator pinching the five points with all the vigour of try-steal day. 

Unfortunately, the Poppies were not able to push on to victory and despite an heroic last ditch tackle from Drummey and try saving interception from Jeffrey, Sutton had the last laugh and extended the scoreline to  cement their position at the top of the league.

Final Score: Croydon 17 – Old Suttonians 31

Tries: Lyell, Biggs

Conversions: Bond (2)

Penalties: Bond

MoM: Simons (Forwards), Shrimpton (Backs)

League: Haslemere RFC vs Croydon RFC

MATCH REPORT: HASLEMERE VS CROYDON 27th Jan

The Croydon team spent Saturday morning journeying from their concrete jungle into deepest, darkest (and greenest) Surrey to play bottom of the table Haslemere. After only fielding 11 players in the reverse fixture, the opposition had recruited and was better equipped this time with plenty of players on the field (and the bench). Croydon had also made changes with Big Willy trying his hand at match videography, Cousins testing out the wing and the prodigal son, Liam Bayford, returning at 9 after a two year exodus.

Matt Dammers scores from a lineout.

Croydon kicked off and were immediately on the front foot. With Griffiths and the Matthews brothers reliable as ever in the set piece, a 5 metre line out was driven over the line with Dammers turning Ministry of Defence into Mastery of Attack to touch down and claim the spoils.

Quick offloads out of the tackle almost ends in a try.

Croydon were in the ascendency, but not enough consistent play combined with too much shocking refereeing were preventing the Poppies from reaching their slick, graceful attacking potential and a couple of well worked moves finished agonisingly short of the try line. As a result, grace was thrown out the window in favour of brute force and the ferocious tackling from Shrimpton and Jeffrey was matched by crunching carries from Broadbent, Cousins and Lyell.

Lyell doubles Croydon’s lead

Moved into the pack for the game, and sensing an opportunity to cut down Bond’s lead in the try standings, Lyell took the rest of the first half into his own hands. With Bayford reacting quickly to a 5-metre penalty, the ball was shipped to Lyell who crashed in to score. A couple of frustrating penalties let Haslemere chip away at the lead but, much like Adrian at a buffet, Lyell was quickly back for more and smashed through for a second.  Half time score: 17-6.

Lyell and Broadbent gain yards to inch Croydon closer to the tryline

Frustration built in the second half both teams giving away unforced errors and penalties. The Poppies welcomed the return of Simons and his trademark handoffs while Bond tried to rally the team with some colossal kicks that travelled half way back to the Croydon as well as a monstrous bosh that could be heard from Croydon and left his tackler leaving the field thinking he was in Croydon. However repeated sloppy penalties allowed Haslemere to move up the field and gift them a try under the posts.

Lyell scores his second try

With Haslemere smothering open play and Croydon still agonisingly short of a bonus point, it was on the shoulders of your humble narrator to kill the game off with the rugby equivalent of goal hanging. First scooping up a misthrown line out on the try line, then stealing the ball on the try line at the end of a vintage Simons run, a brace of zero-effort tries were awarded by the ref for the combined movement, with ball in hand, of half a metre.

Jack Bond converts a try

With time winding down, Drummey still saw an opportunity to stake a claim for the 2019 Drummey award and ran half way across the field before throwing a forward pass out of bounds which was deliciously captured by media officer Simons. The final whistle blew and Croydon were pleased with much needed bonus point victory even if the performance did not reflect the team’s potential. Much like star players Shrimpton and Bayford having the cover their match pints with their socks before drinking, Croydon also made their tasks harder and less pleasant than they could have been.

Drummey with a wayward pass to end the match

Final Score: Haslemere 13 – Croydon 29

Tries: Dammers, Lyell (2), Biggs (2)

Conversions: Bond (2)

MoM: Shrimpton (Forwards), Bayford (Backs)

League: Croydon RFC vs Reigate

MATCH REPORT: CROYDON VS REIGATE 12th Jan

Croydon’s matchup against Reigate fell on the weekend of the VP lunch, with vets turning up in droves, representing the whole arc of the club’s 60 year history, to reminisce about the glory days. After a starter of Croydon’s finest curry, the main course was to be served up by the current 1st XV who took to the field against Reigate.

Yorkie is congratulated by an elated fan for his Forward of the Match performance

After the kick off, the Poppies quickly set up camp in the opposition 22. Bond’s kicking was as clinical as Smutley and Defrates in the lineout, giving Croydon a strong platform to build on. Shrimpton and Killcoyne marshalled an unbreakable defensive line while sustained offensive pressure coordinated by W. Curtis and Henderson resulted in Humphrey barrelling over in the corner to break the deadlock. Conversion missed, Croydon led by 5.

With the offer of a warm clubhouse, plenty of ale and some vintage photographs proving a tempting alternative, some supporters had difficulty seeing the first half unfold. Unfortunately for those who did make it to the pitch, the referee was having similar difficulties. Despite it being national “kiss a ginger” day, the referee showed no love to our scrum half and some interesting calls cost Croydon several opportunities. Thankfully, Croydon’s front row were causing nightmares for the opposition pack. Matthews and Griffiths broke the spirits of the Reigate scrum before super-sub Benson made an immediate impact, effortlessly turning over a Reigate penalty run and shipping the ball to Bond to score in the corner and double his tally of missed conversions for the game.

The success enjoyed by the forwards was shared by the backs, with Gissing, S. Curtis, and Drummey putting the gas on their opposite numbers at will. The Poppies kept giving up penalties but Reigate couldn’t capitalise and with the half winding down, Drummey stumbled round the defence and over the molehills to touch down nearer the post, allowing Bond to finally make a conversion and regain some face. Half time: Croydon 17 – Reigate 0.

Lyell’s was fully committed to playing in the backs after being selected at 12

Croydon pressed on in the second half. Dammers and Cousins refreshed the pack and Reigate buckled under the pressure. Lyell did his best impression of a back, dancing up to the line and stretching over for a bonus point try before snatching up an interception to supply captain Bond with a chance to add to both his own try tally and missed conversion count for the day.

Not finished with the five tries, and cheered by a massive showing of vets, the 2019 “Wanderers” pushed forward. Just inside the opposition 22, Humphrey charged towards the line. Reigate threw everything they had at the Yorkshireman - missed tackles, high tackles and slide tackles - but nothing could break the flanker’s stride and a sixth try was awarded in the corner (much to the disappointment of Bond’s boot).

Cousins’ actions were deemed an ‘elf and safety risk by the referee

The final quarter of the match slowed and while Yorkie returned for a late cameo in search of his hat-trick, Croydon’s focus became maintaining a clean sheet against a Reigate team who simply refused to quit. However, in the final minutes, Cousins switched his signature energetic “Duracell battery” display, for an unfortunate display of “assault and battery” in front of the ref. Reigate got a penalty and took full advantage, with a try from a cross field kick to salvage some pride from the encounter and finish the match 34 – 7.

Final Score: Croydon 37 – Reigate 7

Tries: Humphrey (2), Bond (2), Drummey, Lyell

Conversions: Bond (2)

MoM: Humphrey (Forwards), W. Curtis (Backs)

Honourable mentions must go to the vets who turned out in force to support the team. As well as keeping tight lipped and refraining from giving us too much stick for the performance, the returners also managed to raise a valuable contribution toward the much needed shower refurbishment. Being a relative newcomer to the club, it was humbling to see the rich history of the Wanderers packing out the clubhouse and great to share a drink with some of the founding members of ’56 and everybody in between who built the club into what it is today.

Ewan Kellas and the 1956 Wanderers

League: Croydon RFC vs Wandsworthians RFC

MATCH REPORT: CROYDON VS WANDSWORTHIANS 6th Oct

Croydon entered the third week of Surrey 4 fixtures with a set of results more random than the contents of Broadbent’s dirty pint. Shipping 40+ points to league favourites Egham was followed by some fancy new shirts, a walkover win against Horley, and a surprise upset victory against London Media. A success against the visiting Wandsworth could therefore stabilise things and start a winning run.

As the game kicked off, two things quickly became clear:

1)      Croydon looked the better drilled, stronger team

2)      There was no way Ginge was lasting 80 mins in this torrential drizzle

Sensing his time on the field was limited, the diminutive scrum half wasted no time in taking control of the game. On the back of Croydon’s complete dominance over the sent piece, Ginge darted through a confused defence and gave the Poppies a 7-0 lead.

Wandsworth crumble under the pressure of Croydon’s pack

Clearly in the ascendancy despite the challenging conditions, the home team ramped up the pressure and set up camp in the opposition half. Drummey could have doubled the lead after finding himself with an open run in from 20 meters out but opted to trade away the 5 points on the scoreboard a for a crisp, refreshing Drummey pint.

Nevertheless, more tries were on their way. Slick back play with smart handling from Gleig and Henderson combined with some astute kicking from Drury gifted Bond an open lane to slide under the posts. Likewise, the Matthews-dominated forwards owned the set pieces through a powerful core of A Matthews, S Matthews, G Matthews and Matthew D. The pack forced a try of their own with Matthew I boshing over from 5 meters out to complete the half with a healthy 21-0 scoreline. The only negative to a great half was Glenn having to leave the game early with a lump or his head so big it needed its own team shirt. Lyell was pulled in as cover on the flank as his career inches ever closer to the front row.

Taking the positives with the Egg-itives

Some inspiring half-time words from Defrates were immediately washed away by the rain and Wandsworth ran in a soft try to start the second half. Ginge left the field to be thawed out but Croydon answered back, Irvine switching to the blind side and finding Jeffrey who swooped in under the posts to secure the bonus point and gift another straightforward conversion to Bond.

As the game became scrappier, solid defence from Broadbent, Shrimpton, and Lyell (definitely a forward) kept Wandsworth at bay but tired legs and slippery conditions meant the home team could not regain the upper hand. Colcutt entered the fray to maintain Croydon’s grip on the scrum while Kilcoyne tried to emulate Glenn’s forehead fashion with an ambitious, face-first, chop-tackle.

On Target: Bond slots another conversion

With the clock winding down, Croydon broke through again and Drummey finally got on the scoresheet. Jeffrey then doubled his tally, benefitting from a neat chip to the corner, some ambiguously painted pitch lines, and an Oscar-winning “definitely not out of bounds” try celebration which was enough to convince the ref.  With Croydon raining tries, Bond took full advantage from the kicking practice, impressively slotting conversions from either sideline.

Wandsworth rallied in the final minutes to score a second try but Croydon could take plenty of positives from a comfortable win, moving them up the league table to third. Very hard to pick out individual performances as the whole team raised their game and should be proud of a well-earned victory.

Final Score: Croydon 42 – Wandsworth 10

Tries: Curtis, Bond, Irvine, Jeffrey (2), Drummey

Conversions: Bond (6)

Open run-ins dropped: Drummey

MoM: S Matthews (Forwards), Henderson (Backs)

Honourable Mentions:

McCallister: Mick saw out the last days of his thirties by trying to rewrite the rulebook and secure the coveted Drummey pint a few days before the match. Rather than sliding over the tryline, Mick chose to slide into the club’s DMs with some unsolicited details of what he gets up to in the shower. Unfortunately, the second team stalwart was unavailable for comment as “his hands were Thai’d”. #fourtyandnaughty

Pre-Season: Croydon RFC vs London Media RFC

Croydon RFC VS London Media RFC

MATCH REPORT: CROYDON VS LONDON MEDIA 1st Sep

After an off-season full of new faces, gardening, the odd iNaga curry and a resolute focus on rebuilding, the Poppies were finally freed from the delicate restrictions of summer touch, ready return to proper rugby and get a first look at how far the revival project was progressing.

The weather - the spectacular summer had returned with a vengeance and the sun was out in full force.

The opposition - A last minute switch meant London media had the pleasure of travelling to Addington. One of Croydon’s bogey teams last season despite similarity of squads, the media boys (all 26 of them) would be a perfect acid test.

Media were out of the traps straight away and ran in an early try. Before Croydon had even realised the match had started they found themselves down 0-7, but fell back on their game plan; simple rugby played with intensity. Led by the centre pairing of Yorkie and captain Lyell, The Poppies ramped up the pressure and started winning penalty after penalty. Unfortunately, confusion in the line out and the two words no forward of a certain shape wants to hear, “uncontested scrums”, meant it was difficult to for the home team to capitalise.

In the second quarter, Croydon threw tactical kicking out the window and went back to the trusty tap and go. Strong phase play with solid contributions from Glenn, Cousins and Richardson gained valuable metres and built a platform for Simons to bulldoze over from close range, levelling the score and fulfilling his pre-match promise of a try in honour of Defrates (or was it Gissing?). The only blemish on a positive quarter was Yorkie’s injury meaning Dammers joined Shrimpton in the club of forwards forced to play in the backs.

Quarter three was just as evenly fought. Media continued to rotate their massive squad onto the field but despite fresh legs they couldn’t find a final pass. One of Croydon’s prodigal sons returning from university, Kareem, and debutant Mike both made important attacking carries while Simons gave his opposite number plenty of extra attention in defence. Against a run of sustained media pressure, Henderson latched onto a misplaced pass to jog in a try under the posts and give Croydon the lead for the first time in the match. 

Unfortunately, at the start of the final quarter, the blistering heat and relentless pace of the Media squad finally broke through Croydon’s resolute defending to score three time to gain a crucial 12 point lead going into the home stretch. Rather than bow down and admit defeat, the Poppies mustered up one final push. Yorkie rejoined the fray with one leg, Davenport dump tackled anyone with a media shirt, and the opposition were on the back foot. With a monstrous chase after a deep kick, Jeffrey was fingertips away from his first try of the season but a vicious clothesline wiped out both attacker and defender, leaving Drummey to play the advantage and dot the loose ball down himself. A final lost line out signalled the end of the match and while the result wasn’t as glorious as the conditions, there were plenty of positives to take forward.

Final score: Croydon 19 - Media 24

Tries: Simons, Henderson, Drummey

Conversions: Henderson (2)

Special mentions

Shrimpton

A lack of backs meant the smallest forward was nominated to fill in at scrum half. Did himself no harm with a composed display and marshalling the link between the pack and the back line. Capped off his commitment to the role by even downing his ‘man of the match’ pint like a back! A new look for the defensive stalwart? Maybe so, if the #shrimpfor9 movement is anything to go by.

Front row

It’s impressive what a front row are capable of when they’re not having their souls crushed out of them in the scrum. Uncontested scrums proved a blessing in disguise and produced the most movement ever seen from the collective. highlights being:

• Adrian galloping around with the ball in one hand looking for a kiwi-esque offload.

• Steve’s one man chip and chase reminiscent of his 85/86 season.

• Smuts solo counter rucks regaining valuable possession.

• Davenport and ‘that’ dump tackle.

Henderson

Conducting traffic at fly half, Jake kept everyone singing from the same hymn sheet and did well to make sure Croydon focused on their game plan. A solid performance in terms of decision making was rewarded by taking the customary unopposed-five-metre-run-in try usually reserved for Lyell.

Walker/Bond

Whilst neither were available in person, they contributed through social media and attempted to psych the team up for the game with a black and white montage of one of Jack’s topless weights sessions. Whilst the actual impact of the video on the match outcome remains inconclusive, rumours are still circulating that Adrian’s acrobatic runs were a homage to captain Bond, with mobile prop volunteering his own services for the next topless video.